A friend (and Facebook) pointed me to an article recently published in The New York Times by Mandy Len Catron titled, "To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This." In the article, Mandy discusses using a famous study by psychologist Arthur Aron to fall in love with a colleague and fall in love they indeed do. The study consists of 36 questions designed to accelerate intimacy and mutual vulnerability, which fosters closeness and hopefully love. Also recently, I started hanging out with David Bell. Finding myself attracted to David, I invited him to come on Adventures Within to engage in this experiment and see if we would fall in love (and, of course, my hope was that we would!). However, as you'll note if you listen to this episode, David does everything seemingly possible to avoid answering the questions in any intimate or vulnerable manner. As Mandy writes in her article, "It’s true you can’t choose who loves you..." and this experiment with David certainly proves you can't! Mandy sums up her tale of falling in love by stating, "Love didn’t happen to us. We’re in love because we each made the choice to be." Falling in love certainly has to be mutual and though David and I didn't fall in love, through a mutual interest in intimacy and honesty, we have certainly become BFF's.
AW Episode 28: The Incomprehensible Demoralization of Love
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